Here is the new story, I am writing these days. It’s the story of a teenage boy lived in small town in India. Period of the story was later years of nineties (1997-2000).
Part – One
Girl smiles at me
“Don’t be late on first day otherwise you will reach school late in entire session.” My friend Manish told me when we were going school on first day of new session in eleventh standard. People may change their way of work for a day, but they will surely come to their natural habit next day. Manish was on time for first day only. Second day, I was waiting for him at Birla-Gram Square from last twenty minutes, but there were no signal of him reaching there. Well…I was very well aware about his habits so this was no surprise for me. He usually reach late everywhere and I was the victim of his laziness most of the time because I have habit of reaching at exact time everywhere. After waiting for twenty minutes, I got tired standing there so I sat at the bench in the corner to relax.
It was the year 1998, when I passed high school. That was the time when Globalization winds were impacting Indian society and their habits. Middle class society was getting more matured day by day in terms of living standards. People’s thinking and dreams to achieve something were also getting higher. Shahrukh Khan was the most famous Bollywood actor at that time and his Kuchh-kuchh hota hain movie was released just few days back. This movie has redefined the definition of friendship between boy and girl; but such friendship was still a nightmare in small town like Nagda. Several eyebrows were raised if you caught with a girl at anywhere in the city. And why only others, our own friends and group circle people looked at us like we caught with alien. Nagda is a small town in Madhya-Pradesh, which was mainly developed due to Grasim Industries of Birlas. I Nityam Rathore, was the student of Birla higher secondary school at that time and Manish was my best buddy there.
I was still sitting there at corner bench to pass the waiting period. My eyes were looking for Manish but mind was thinking about Kuchh-Kuchh hota hain, movie I saw last week. When I watched Sholay movie in my childhood days, I wanted a friend like Veeru or Jay in life. But after watching Kuchh-Kuchh hota hain, Foot prints of Jay-Veeru type friendship of my childhood days were completely erased, and Rahul-Anjali were my new idol of friendship in teenage. You can say it was my attraction for female or my salute to true friendship but I desperately wanted a friend like Anjali in life. Once I told about it to Manish but he said that it is nothing but my cheap mentality as I wanted friend like Anjali just because she is a girl. He argued that Jay and Anjali are almost similar; Anjali has sacrificed her love for friendship and Jay has sacrificed his life for friendship; the only difference between them is that Jay is a man and Anjali is a woman and this is the only reason I wanted Anjali from life, not Jay. Manish also slammed me for giving the name of friendship to attraction towards opposite gender. Well…I didn’t have any reply of his argument but I was very sure about my choice of Anjali over Jay.
I was in the thoughts of Anjali and suddenly I noticed a beautiful girl with Hero-Puch moped stopped there at square. She looked here and there for some time; I thought she was looking for someone there. Suddenly she started looking at the same side where I sat. She smiled but I got confused; is she smiling at me? It’s the chance every boy looking for…a beautiful girl smile at him. But to be very true, I was not sure how to react at that time…I mean for a second, I confused…next second, I felt happy that such a beautiful girl smiling at me. She was dressed in same school uniform so I thought she might be our junior in school. But why she smiled…may be she knew me…but how? ….she might know me due to cricket…after all I was the Sachin Tendulkar of our school cricket team. I got some confidence that she might know me due to cricket and stood up. I put a light smile at my face and about to move a step toward her but suddenly I found another girl came from the building at back side and crossed me. Other girl said hi to her, wrapped a scarf over her face, sit at the back seat and they moved away from there. Oh! What a misunderstanding…now I got the thing…she was smiling at the girl back side of me…and I was feeling happy, proud and lucky that a girl smiled at me. Hey God! Can’t you make this misunderstanding true for me…
Girl has gone but her smile printed in my eyes. I was started dreaming about her sitting at there…in case if she was smiling at me…I met her and she would ask me…you are the one who hit four consecutive sixes and make our school team won in last year cricket tournament…I blushed at this…and then she would offer me lift up to school at her Hero-Puch…we were moving to school at her Hero-Puch in the dreams and suddenly horn of another moped destroyed everything. It was Manish there… almost thirty minutes late. “Let’s make hurry Nityam, we are already late.” Manish told. I sit at the back seat and Manish started driving.
“You will never improve your habit of coming late” I started expressing my frustration on the way. Manish didn’t reply anything as he was busy in driving. But I haven’t completed yet, “yesterday you were giving me lecture on coming late… than what happened today.” Manish was still unaffected at my chat but his silence made me more aggressive. “Don’t be late on first day of session otherwise you will reach school late in entire session…who… your grandma told you yesterday and you forget everything just next day.”
This time Manish took a chance to speak “Grandma told only about first day of session…what should do next day…she never spoke about it” Manish replied innocently.
“Very funny…there is a universal truth written in almost every book of moral science that you should always come school at time…can’t you read it” I found this conversation a good topic to tease him but Manish was not the candidate who can be easily captured in such conversation.
“If I could able to remember everything what written in books than I would be the topper of our school” Manish replied again in same innocent manner.
I laughed at his reply but still my mission to make him hyper was not completed. “oho topper!…you secured first division in last year board exam …and person who secured first division is also counted among toppers….and yes…uncle gifted this moped at your success in last year exam…why he gifted it…so that you will reach at time everywhere…if you can’t come at time on this new second-hand TVS Champ moped, than our bi-cycles were much better than it.” This time I got success in my mission and Manish became red somewhat.
“You can say anything to me but don’t dare to say anything about my moped…its very special for me…and what is this new-second-hand…it’s always new for me” Manish said in annoyed voice. My mission has completed …its very tough to get command over Manish but today I made it possible as he irritated on my ‘new-second-hand’ comment…it’s a very lucky day for me.
We haven’t talked for next few minutes and this silence sent me again in past…what a smile she has. I again started thinking about that girl…she was really very beautiful…I must try to make friendship with her…but how…she was dressed in same school uniform so it means she is in same school…but in which class…how can I find her…
I was flying in thoughts and sudden brake of moped sent me on earth. A girl on bi-cycle suddenly came in front of our moped while crossing road. “Why girls use their legs to stop the cycle…can’t they know there are breaks given in hand?” Manish complained. The girl on bicycle used her legs to stop her cycle while crossing road but that didn’t stop the bi-cycle immediately and she came in front of us.
Well…I was agree with Manish on his general statement about female society but today I was not in mood to speak anything against girls. “She might be a new learner…that’s why using legs instead of breaks” I said in sympathetic voice.
Smile of a beautiful girl made my morning refreshing but not Manish…his morning was totally spoiled due to laziness. “No, this is the habit of all girls…I noticed girls on Hero-Puch moped uses their lags instead of brake…Government should ban girls to drive on road.” Hero-Puch word of Manish again reminded me about that girl at square but Manish was not completed yet. “Girls are responsible for most of accidents happen on the road…some accidents causes due to such driving habits of them…and some happen as people get distracted from driving by looking them on road.” Manish expressed his expert opinion.
I again took the side of girls and said “What do you mean by some accidents happen as people get distracted from driving by looking girls on road…what girls can do if people get distracted by looking them.” I was giving air to listen some more fire-words from Manish. “No they should not do anything…government should not issue driving license to girls…especially beautiful girls.” Manish made a pause before saying beautiful girls and this pause said everything what he intended to said. I laughed loudly at his statement and it brought a naughty smile on Manish’s face too. “Yes…you are absolutely true…there should be a clause of not being very beautiful for issuing driving license to girls.” I concluded while laughing.
Manish was looking in good mood to me now. We were again silent for few minutes. Thought of that beautiful girl was the only thing cooking inside my heart from morning but I never get a chance to speak about it yet. I was dying to express about my feeling for that girl and I found this thought a good way to break the ice.
“Hey! Today one good thing happened with me due to your laziness.” I started fresh conversation with Manish. “What happened my friend?” Manish asked curiously. “I saw a beautiful girl at square…what a gorgeous smile she has…she looks like an angel… morning angel” I expressed all my emotions.
“Hey Mr. Romeo! These angel types of girls found only in movies, not in real life…but anyways…what’s her name?” Voice of Manish was very hard when he was saying that angel type of girls never meets in real life, but his tone get soft when he asked about her name.
“I don’t know her name…but she was dressed in same school uniform.” I replied. “So what was she doing at square?” Manish asked in investigation mode. “She came there to pick up her friend” I answered. “How was that second girl?” Manish looked very interested in the matter now. “I don’t know…means… I haven’t look her properly but she was short in height and a bit fatty…but who look at the other girl when such a beautiful girl was there smiling in front of you.” I again lost in the thought of that girl with saying this.
“Ok…no problem…we will find those girls in school…as we have lots of free time in these initial days of session.” Manish said. “Why we…means why you are so much interested in that girl…I saw her first.” I warned Manish. “If you see a parted kite in sky first, than it doesn’t mean that kite belongs to you…kite goes to that person who catches that first at ground. “Manish’s trademarked baseless logics started. “Ok…we will see later…let’s catch that girl first.” I concluded. “That’s the spirit my friend!” Manish complemented and we entered into school campus. Manish parked moped and we moved towards the classroom as prayer was already over.
Part – Two
Chaloo girl and crazy friend
We reached a bit late in the classroom as all students were already sit at their positions and waiting for teacher to come. There were four rows in the classroom; one row was occupied by girls and rests of the three were for boys. All the seats of boy’s rows were already occupied except the first bench in extreme right row. Manish and I haven’t image of back bencher in the class but we also didn’t know as front seater. So we again moves our eyes round in classroom if by chance there was any seat empty. But our misfortune, we haven’t found any other seats empty in boy’s row. However we found two empty benches in girl’s row at the last. Manish had started moving to seat at the last bench in girl’s row. I was hesitated initially but slowly I also followed him to avoid the chances of sitting at front bench.
We just sat on the last bench in girl’s row and teacher entered into classroom. It was English literature lecture. Teacher told to open the first lesson of textbook but unfortunately Manish and I both haven’t bought text books of new session yet. We looked towards the boys at the back bench in the side rows if they have two books; but they were real backbenchers who had ten years’ experience of sitting at back bench so how could we expect book from them. Manish looked at the girls at the previous bench. “shhhh!…do you have an extra book” Manish asked to the girls at previous bench in slow voice. Both girls looked back after hearing Manish’s whisper. “If you both have books than can you please share in one book and give other book to us; we don’t have any” Manish requested. Both girls were looking back to us; Manish was still looking them into requesting mode but I became totally shocked. These are same girls whom I met in square. She was looking us with the same smile that refreshed my morning some time back. Well…other girl gave her book to Manish and we finally opened the first lesson but who can concentrate in book after such incident. Oh god! This day is mine…If I could wish for anything, God will surely help me to get it. But what else I can wish other than that smiley girl…I wished to god that please give me a chance to get close her…to make friendship with her.
“Hey! These are same girls whom I saw at square in morning” I said slowly to Manish while teacher moved back for writing something on board. “Who? …These girls at previous bench?” Manish tried to confirm. “Yes, these are the same girls…and remember I was talking about lovely smile…the girl in left side was that one” I explained. Teacher has finished with writing at board and she was explaining by looking at front. Manish and I continued our discussion by putting hands at mouth so that teacher can’t see our lips moving. “I think they are newcomer as they were not with us in last year” Manish said. “Yes…surely they are new comer” I replied. “I think the girl with lovely smile is a Chaloo girl” Manish made his general assumption but it really annoyed me. “What do you mean by Chaloo girl?” I almost shouted him. This time teacher took an excuse to us. “What happened there?” Teacher asked. “No…nothing ma’am” Manish replied. “You are mad” Manish slammed me.
We haven’t talked in that period after that, but once the lecture got over, I again moved to Manish. “What do you mean by Chaloo girl” I asked softly this time. “Well…I don’t mean that she is a bad girl…what I mean to say is that I think she is kind of girl who use boys for their purpose” Manish explained. I didn’t like Manish’s comments but still I wanted to hear Manish. “Can’t you see when I asked them for book…what she did…your hero-puch queen smiled and looked at us like I asked for book just to get a chance… to start talking with her…like I am giving line to her” Manish completed his statement.
“What a cheap thinking about a person in just one look” I slammed. “What cheap…whatever I said is what I thought…other girl is better than her…when your hero-puch wali was giving such mischievous look to us, other one picked up the book and gave to us.” Manish explained the fact behind his statement.
Manish is not the person who can see roads straight all the time. His way of thinking is quite different from rest of the world. He always imagines and says such things that no one able to even think. This time he appraised the ugly girl and slammed beautiful one and it gave me a chance to taunt him. “What happened to your choice Manish…you like such little, fat and dark girl…shame on you” I said with smile.
“I like the people who help me…not the one who just smile at me” Manish replied. “So you didn’t like that smiley girl…good…so you don’t mind if I would call her your sister now onwards” I said. Manish didn’t like that hero-puch girl but it felt me happy; now I am the only one to chase that girl so no chance of fight between us.
“No, not sister…these are just my initial assumption…my assumption may goes wrong…she might be very good girl…so I keep my all options open” Manish changed his stake dramatically. “How diplomatic you are!” I said disappointedly. “No it’s called chance-matic…who don’t want to dance if get chance…” Manish said in naughty manner. “You rascal…no one knows when you turn the face” I said. “ha ha ha…….” I abused but Manish took it as complement and laughed like he got gold medal.
We didn’t talk to those girls in next few days but I saw them daily at the same square. As both girls were newcomer in the school, they didn’t have any friend in class. Mostly they found together in school. I desperately wanted to make friendship with smiley girl but I didn’t get any chance. My shy and introvert nature was also causing hesitation in talking with them. All girls were behaving normally with them but all boys were starring smiley girl like they haven’t see such beautiful girl earlier. But what can boys do; after all she is the most beautiful girl in the class. Soon she became quite famous in school; every group of boys was talking about her. Even people from different sections were also coming in our class just to saw her.
One day, I was waiting for Manish at square. Suddenly I heard a voice of hello from back side. She was the black fatty girl who goes to school with smiley girl and could be found with her all the time in school. “Hi…good morning” I replied. “What’s your name?” she asked me. “I am Nityam Rathore” I answered. “And I am Nirmala Niranjan” I haven’t asked but she replied me with her name.
“What’s the name of your gorgeous friend?” that’s the real question I wanted to shoot, but I thought it spoiled everything in first impression so I stopped myself. In that little chat, she told me that she came from Bhopal; Due to her father’s job, they had to change city very frequently. Almost every year start with new city and new school for her. I was not much interested in talking with her but she revealed few facts of my interest in that chat. Name of the smiley girl is Mitali Kashyap and she lives in the lane left to Next Square. This chat was not the job initiated by me but it really made me happy. I found it a first step towards making friendship with Mitali.
“Name of that smiley girl is Mitali Kashyap and she lives in the same lane where you live” I told to Manish when we were going to school same day. “Yes…I know it” Manish replied. “So why you never told me” I asked in annoyed voice. “You never asked me” Manish replied innocently.
“You know I want to make friendship with her … can’t you pass this information earlier for the sake of your dear friend” I said in irritating voice.
“it’s very easy yar, I got her name from attendance sheet and one day I saw her near my house in the same lane…so I know the address” Manish explained.
“You are very rascal friend…you never let anything good happen with me” I slammed to Manish. Manish laughed a lot on this complement. “ha ha ha !….but you are my true friend…you know me very well” Manish said while laughing.
“Anyway…but how you get this information …my aashiq friend” Manish questioned me. “Her black fatty friend told me today morning at square” I answered. “You talked with her today…Oho! So first target to her friend and then full on her…good going man…keep it up” Manish the rascal showed his sneakiness. I didn’t know how to react on this complement so I maintained silence but Manish now got a chance to tease me. “Anyway …who gives you this idea to make friendship with friend first?” Manish questioned me.
“No one….she herself came to me at square and talked with me…and there is no plan or wrong intention behind it” I said to save me from his blame.
“to aag idhar bhi hain…udhar bhi hain” Manish again teased me with second class statement of third class movie. I knew now Manish may give a new definition to all this matter if we keep on talking on it. So to change the topic, I asked fresh question to Manish “have you purchased new session’s text books?’ I asked to redirect the discussion from those girls to text book and save myself from Manish’s verbal torture.
“No I haven’t …but don’t worry…we will take book from your new black fat friend in class …now she is the best friend of you” Manish said. Sit silently with Manish all the time but don’t speak a single word that give him an opportunity to tease or rather torture you, because he is the master in the art of creating big baseless nonsense from a little normal thing.
“Tell me one thing…who has initiated conversation…that black duck or you?” Manish asked. “She” I answered in single word as there was nothing I want to say on that topic. “Who spoke more during conversation, she or you?” Manish was ready with next question. “She” I again answered in single word to stop everything at this. But looks like Manish got the golden opportunity now. “So…did she said bye…When they were leaving” Manish asked. “Hmm…” I replied.
Manish has started asking questions like doctor who asked many questions to patient for drawing any conclusion about disease. “And what about smiley girl…our white duck…did she talked with you?” now I was getting clue what Manish is trying to conclude. “No…she has not talked me earlier and also she was in hurry to go school so …didn’t…”this time I took a chance to speak full statement but Manish interrupted me before I completed it. “I understand everything now…I got it…” Manish said.
“What you understand?” I asked. “Black duck came to you and started conversation…she mostly spoke during conversation…only she said bye to you while leaving…it means she likes you man” Manish drew his conclusion. I was thinking that he will give me tips to get closer to smiley girl Mitali on the way of Nirmala, but Manish had stormed everything with this nonsense. “No rascal…it’s not the thing…you and your logic…all are non-sense” I shouted at Manish. If Manish has to tease me by attaching my name with any girl so he can select fair and beautiful Mitali, why he has selected black and fat Nirmala; can’t he see me happy even in thoughts.
My heart was abusing Manish for his choice but he has already made his decision and now he was protecting it. “You know these girls community is very selfish…they never come to any boy for starting conversation…even if they wish …Nirmala came to you and started talking…it directly means that she likes you very much.” Manish broke all my glassy thoughts by big stone this time. “No…can you please stop it now” I shouted annoyingly. “Your irritation at this truth says that you also like her…it’s just you are not getting it” Manish has full on making fun at me. “I am not getting from where you get this intelligence to draw such extra-ordinary logics” I said. Manish laughed a lot on this. “That’s my born talent brother” Manish acknowledged me. Thank god we reached to school at that time and our discussion ends with this statement otherwise Manish will totally raped me by the name of Nirmala.
Two lovely ducks, an innocent frog and a wild bull
Manish’s verbal attack had interrupted as we reached at school on that day, but he had not finished yet. After that incident, it became favorite pass time for him, teasing me with the name of Nirmala. He addressed her by very special names just to tease me. Sometime he called her ‘Black Duck’ and some time he called her ‘Nirma’ or Nirma-la’. Same way he gave a name ‘White Duck’ to Mitali too. Nirmala met me daily at square and we both chatted for few minutes just to pass the waiting period. She smiled at me whenever we met in the school. These things were working as a fuel for Manish’s verbal torture. Whenever she smiled or said hi to me in school, Manish looked at me with such a rascal naughty smile. Whenever Manish and I were together and didn’t have any work to do, Manish has started talking about Nirmala. He made black duck Nirmala my friend, girlfriend, wife and even mother of my children in his self-constructed baseless facts and thoughts. He also crooned advertisement of Nirma to tease me –
Black Duck Nirma….
Nityam ko boyfriend wo banana chahe…
Kala ye rang par Nityam ko na bhaye…
Fat Duck Nirma….
When we heard about a thing hundred times, we automatically start thinking about that thing, even if we don’t wish. Same thing happened with me; I also started thinking about black duck Nirmala by listening Manish’s Nirma-song every day, but not in positive context. As much Manish was talking about Nirmala, my hate feeling was also evolving for her in same ratio. To be very true, she was really very ugly and I don’t like her from day one. Her height was about five feet one inch but weight already crossed seventy five. Her face had dark complexion and her hair was curly and rough like Maggi noodles. She used to tie her hairs in ponytail, however sometimes (during functions or special occasions) she kept them open, but she looks blonde in open hair. The only good thing she has in her face was smile…she had healthy teeth rows…good in shape and very well arranged. But her smile didn’t suit her face; when she smiles, her white teeth shines a lot and it looked very funny in contrast to her facial color.
It was fun to watch her smiling but there was one more thing other than smile that looks very funny to me; it was her one special habit. She used to wrap a scarf over her face while going school. When Mitali reached at square to pick-up her, she pulled out a scarf from her bag and wrapped it tightly over her face…except eyes nothing get visible in her face after wrapping scarf. She took almost five minutes in this activity but it always looked funny to me. I mean girls generally wrap scarf over their face to save their skin…but sun rays can harm only if there is something in skin…what these sunrays can harm to skin that already burned and looked too dark like a coal; why to waste five important minutes in such meaningless activity. It was very fun for me to watch such a dark colored girl wrapping scarf to save skin from sunrays. Also, she never completed this activity before Mitali came. It was only when Mitali came there, she tied scarf and kept Mitali waiting and patrol wasted till she will be done with wrapping scarf.
Once I shared this funniest moment with Manish by incident and this gave him an opportunity (that he always looked forJ) to take dig on me. He told me that I started noticing her…it’s the beginning of love. He also laughed at Mitali; why white duck Mitali put his moped on if this activity take five minutes daily…she should switch off moped to save fuel. According to him, this moment is an example that girls don’t have sense…if she knows that this activity will take five minutes than she should switch off moped …it save the important resource like Patrol of our country; how much patrol she already wasted due to insensibility. For Manish, funny thing is that Mitali doesn’t off her moped in spite she knows that this will take five minutes. But for me, funny thing is that black girl like Nirmala wrap scarf over face to protect her from sunrays. Manish and my views were never matched on any matter; and this incident was perfect example of that.
My introduction has been done with Nirmala but still my real target was far from me. I want to make friendship with Mitali at any cost. I have noticed all the girls were behaving normally with Mitali but all the boys in our class starred her like they never saw such a beautiful girl. In fact few boys didn’t have any task except look her all the time; even when a lecture was going on, they looked continuously towards Mitali instead of lecturer, books or blackboard. Well…I can’t say anything to boys for it as she was very beautiful and I was also in the crowd who looked her with theft eyes. Her height was about five feet five inch and color was pretty fair. She was slim but looked healthy. Her hairs were straight, silky and come till waist. Most gorgeous feature of her persona was smile, full thirty six inches smile with two rounded dimples at cheeks. She always looked beautiful to me but I liked her most in avtar when she kept her hair open and setting them just by a hair-belt at head. Kajol has started this trend from Kuchh-Kuchh hota hain, but I ranked Mitali over Kajol in this appearance.
There is a category in boys that called as lover boys; these type of boys generally has chocolaty face, they speak in urban accent, shows attitude like rock star, love singing, dancing and partying and most important quality – they have expertise in cracking such bad PJ on which no one laughs except girls. Setting a girl is a job of few seconds for them or rather I should say girls always attracted towards such boys like bees come toward honey. Amazingly, wherever such boys go, they always surrounds with girls. I don’t find any logic why girls attracted toward such boys; are girls really think that such boys are very intelligent and extremely careful for them or they think that these boys are such stupid that they will easily make them dance over their fingers.
Well…I don’t want to go into details of lover boys and the theory behind girl’s attraction for them; but Manish and I, both are not that kind of boy. I may not be very sure about me but fully confident about Manish. He is very straight forward person but his way of talking is a bit complex. First he never tells about a thing directly and second he thinks and comment such a thing that no one can imagine. Manish can find a mistake in extremely excellent work and he can count good things about a work that everyone neglected. Manish doesn’t say anything to impress other or feel them happy; he just says what he thinks. And his way of thinking is a bit different so people always amazed, surprised on his comments…sometimes people get shocked and annoyed too on his comments. Girls never like such boys, I don’t know why; but might be because girls don’t want that someone confused them by his way of talking, or they always want to hear from boys what they really wish to hear. In good English, I can say girls always like animal like dog, obedient and loyal, but Manish was like bull, open and mad. Apart from this special characteristic, Manish is very joyful and funny person. He is very talkative and his company makes you laugh every time. He always find fun and humor in any situation and due to this, he easily gel within any group.
Manish is extrovert and very outspoken; also he never hesitates to express his feelings but I am introvert and extremely shy person. It’s very tough for me to make friendship with new person and also share my feeling with others. It’s not the thing that I am dull and boring; I am very crazy from inside, have lots of fire but I am too bad to let world feel this fire by means of my emotion, actions or words. Again in good English, one can say that I am like a frog who always want to jump a long height but couldn’t due to limited capability. Due to such nature only, I am going into this phase of restlessly. I wanted to make friendship with Mitali but didn’t get any chance to talk her. There is no one whom I can share my restlessness except Manish but he is more interested in making my link-up with Nirmala. One day I told Manish directly “Hey Manish, I want friendship with Mitali at any cost, could you please help me in it.” I started talking about my desire so that by chance Manish give me any tip.
“Then Go and talk to her” Manish said in plain voice.
“But how…She doesn’t know me and I don’t know her…how can I start talking with her” I asked.
“Just go and say her …Hi Sanoreeta! Mujhse dosti karogi…or…Hi, My name is Raj, Nam to suna hi hoga” Manish shackled after saying this dialog but I remain silent.
“No…not like that…I mean I want to meet her…but when we meet she should not think that I am road side Romeo who go behind every girl…it just happen all of sudden…look likes we meet just by co-incidence.” I explained how I want to meet her.
“She is damn beautiful and she very well know boys come to her just because they get impress by her beauty…so it doesn’t matter how you meet…she always think that you talk to her just because you attracted by her beauty” Manish said very clearly.
I don’t have any reply on this fact but Manish continued his statement after a pause of few seconds “why the hell I am using the word beauty here…what everyone looks in girls at first sight; their dress, hair style, face, attitude, figure…and you know what I mean…these just can’t say beauty.” Manish finished his statement.
“So cheap…what dirty mentality you have…I like her just because of her smile…such dirty thoughts never come in my mind for her.” I cleared my side to Manish.
“Whatever you can say, but truth is that you like Mitali because she is damn hot. If this is not true than why you don’t like Nirmala who came to you and started talking …because she is black, ugly…not fit in your category” Manish put another fact to prove his point.
I was not completely agreed with Manish’s fact but it created confusion in my mind. It’s true that I don’t like Nirmala because she is black and ugly but it’s not true that I like Mitali because she is very hot. I never thought in that way about Mitali.
I am not ready to accept the fact that I hate Nirmala because of her ugliness and I very well know where Manish will brought this discussion again so I told him to shut off the discussion on this topic “No…Not again…please don’t start over pairing me with black duck” I requested to Manish.
“No…what I am saying is that Nirmala likes you, so you should take advantage of this fact…you should start involving in their group and try to close Mitali…and once you get close to Mitali than drop-off Nirmala from your plate.” Manish explained his trick.
Manish’s idea was good but I don’t want to maintain any kind of closeness with Nirmala, also don’t want to give chance Manish to say it’s because of her ugliness. “How mean are you…why to play with such sweet and innocent girl to get friendship with her friend” I pretended just to deny his idea.
I used word sweet and innocent so that Manish doesn’t get impression that I denied his idea because I don’t like Nirmala due to ugliness. But this was my mistake; I gave him a new weapon from my own hand to hit at me. “Oho…sweet…innocent…you are caring about her…what is this Nityam….now you can’t deny with the fact that you love her” Manish said with well-known rascal smile at face.
If I said I don’t like her because she is ugly than I am selfish who asses people by their color and outer attire, and if I said she is sweet and simple than I am in love with her. When friends come at hitting you, it really doesn’t matter what you say, they will kick you in either way. Ball is not my court now so I just maintained silence with smile at my face so that my friend get impression that I am unaffected to his comments but to be very true, I am getting irritated by these comments and it really make me angry and hyper.
Black Duck Nirma….
Nityam ko boyfriend wo banana chahe…
Kala ye rang par Nityam ko na bhaye…
Fat Duck Nirma….
Manish again started singing his own version of Nirma advertisement to tease me. But to be my luck, he stopped and got serious in few seconds “Hey Nityam, do you have five rupees?” He asked me.
He looked something worried to me, like he missed to do any important task or so. Thanks god Manish recalled some other thing this time; it really saves me from his verbal torture. “Yeah, I do have” I opened valet and gave him five rupees immediately so that he can involve in some other activity.
“Now no need to worry Nityam…Fair and lovely is available in five rupees pouch now…it gives fairness in just two weeks…go and give it to your black duck…you can proudly accept her your girlfriend in just one week…no more embarrassment…” Manish giggles randomly on his stupid joke but I got overflowed.
“You bastard…Go…get out from here and don’t let me see your face” I shouted angrily on him. Manish has gone but he was laughing throughout the time until he disappeared from my eyes.
Part – Four
मेंडक को भी कुछ-कुछ होता हैं !
I may get angry on Manish and said get out to him but we both forget everything next day. Next day Manish came at square as usual to pick-up me and behaves normally. We didn’t talk about girls while going to school. In school also, we talked casually in first half. During recess time, I and Manish were walking in the corridor and suddenly we noticed Nirmala coming from opposite side. “Hey Nityam, have you completed Chemistry assignments…I need your copy” Nirmala asked me.
I haven’t completed assignments yet and if I have completed than also I didn’t help this ugly girl. “No, I haven’t done yet” I said her.
I don’t want to talk her more in front of Manish so I clearly said no to her and tried to move away from there. “By the way…when will chemistry assignment need to submit” this time Manish asked a question even if he very well know about submission date.
“It’s day after tomorrow. I just missed those lectures so unable to complete, that’s why looking for…anyways…what about you…have you completed?” Nirmala showed his inability in mercy voice and tried Manish this time.
Manish very well knows that I don’t want to talk her because it gives him new ideas to look at our relationship, but he wanted to fully cash this opportunity, that’s why he started this conversation. “No I also haven’t completed yet…I will copy it from Manish…you know Chemistry is really miserable for me…I understand it just sufficient to clear the exam.” Manish replied in a way that he really wanted to help but couldn’t able to do so.
“Oh…is it so…I am also too weak in Chemistry…that’s why I am also looking for copying it from the notes of an intelligent guy. I think Nityam is very good in Chemistry…hey Nityam, do you like this subject?” Nirmala asked to confirm. I wanted to finish this conversation as soon as possible but Manish didn’t let go this opportunity and now his mission gets succeeded…he finally dragged me again into conversation with Nirmala.
Well, before I said anything to Nirmala, Manish took a chance to speak “Good…no…not good…he is the genius in Chemistry…he knows every molecular formula… almost all chemical equations. He can identify chemical formula of any powder just by looking that…walls of his room are completely drawn with chemical equations and formulas…and his mother many time complained that he murmured chemical equations while sleeping.” Manish never said at least ‘Good Job’ to me even at the time when I indeed deserved, but today he was laying it out thick like he never get chance to speak about it.
I may get irritated on Manish’s statement, but Nirmala really enjoyed it. She was laughing throughout the time while Manish was constructing fake applause bridges, and her milky white teeth shined a lot on black face. It was fun to see Nirmala smiling but today her teeth really ticked-off me. “Yes…I know…Nityam told me that Chemistry is his favorite subject” Nirmala added to Manish.
“Really …so have you met earlier also?” Manish very well knows how and where we meet daily but still he asked this question just to burn my heart.
“Yeah…we meet regularly at square just because of you…this simple, shy, innocent and genius boy wait for you there, and you come late daily. I live in the apartment at the corner there” Nirmala explained in detail to Manish. Manish knew everything already but still he pretended like she revealed big secret to him.
“Well…I have to go Manish…Mitali is waiting for me in library…Its pleasure to meet you” Nirmala told to Manish while leaving from there. It may very pleasurable for Nirmala but it was really disappointing for me. I don’t want to talk with that girl but due to my dear friend’s greatness, I face the person whom I hate.
“And what about Nityam…are you not happy by meeting him” Manish asked question while she was moving towards library. I never saw rascal like Manish before…he is not leaving a single chance to irritate me…I mean why this question.
“I meet daily to Nityam and it’s always nice to see him. He is my first friend in the city.” Nirmala told a bit louder while moving toward library so that we can hear her voice from distance. She finally said what Manish wanted her to speak and now Manish threw his trademark bastard smile at me on this.
“What about the girl who picked up you daily from square…isn’t she your first friend in the city?” First time in the conversation I showed my interest and asked this question. She almost reached at library gate so I asked this question in louder voice but still question hasn’t reached her clearly.
“What…can I come there again?” Nirmala asked.
Before I said anything, Manish took stance and said “No…Nothing…go to your work” and let her go. He doesn’t mind while talking such non-sense with her from a long time but when I asked single question of my interest, he just let her go; there is no competition to Manish in nastiness.
Manish understand what going on my inside so he smiled at me and said “Sorry! You want to ask this question.” Before Manish completed his statement I gave him angry look “Sorry yar…but don’t worry…you can ask this question any time to her…she met you daily and you are also her first boyfriend in the city…”
“What” I shouted before Manish completed his statement.
“Sorry yar…my tongue gets slipped…I mean to say you are her first friend in the city” Manish explained and tried to show that this is innocent mistake but I am no more innocent to him.
I haven’t talked with Manish on that day after that incident but Manish was behaving normally with me. While returning from school to home, he tried to talk with me but I haven’t replied to any question to him.
“Nityam, would you like to hear a story?” Manish asked me while we were returning home at his moped.
Manish was continuously asking me some questions so that I can speak to him. But I really wanted to show that I was upset by his mental torture, so didn’t move lips even a bit for him. After some time, Manish has started telling his story without waiting for my permission.
“Once upon a time there was a frog in a pond. He lives happily there. One day two duck come to visit that pond. Frog saw one duck and falls in love with her. Her milky white color and beautiful wings attracted frog towards her. After some day, both ducks started living in same pond. Frog wants to take a ride of white duck…”
I was slowly getting where this story will be going, but I didn’t react on it as I thought no reaction is better way to fight with Manish rather than messing with words.
“Frog wants to take a ride of white duck but white duck doesn’t even look at the frog. Frog was looking for a good chance to initiate conversation with white duck, but his luck is not working. When luck is not working, we don’t get success in our work in spite of our hard efforts and will power, but bad luck hasn’t finished just with this; it also added few surprise incidents in life that are always ready to convert our bad days into worse. Frog’s luck is not helping to connect his connection with white duck but another duck shows her interest in frog. The only difference with this duck is that her color is black”
Well…I was not enjoying the story but I don’t have any objection on it, until Manish tried to create this third angle with black duck. I really don’t have any emotion for her, not even friendship, and this is also true that its due to her ugliness but I don’t want to accept this thing, so whenever Manish tease me with her name, it makes me angry.
“Stop this non-sense bastard, Manishhhh….”I shouted but Manish was telling this story just for this moment only, when I got irritated and started abusing him. My shouts energized him and he started telling story like a commenter used to do commentary in crucial last overs of interesting cricket match.
“Frog is not a very beautiful animal but he doesn’t like black duck. Her black color and ugly face pinches into frog’s eyes. Black duck raise hands of friendship toward frog but frog finds her major stoppage between him and white duck.
Black duck loves frog, but frog doesn’t like black duck, he likes white duck but white duck doesn’t even look at him. Now where this story of heart goes?
To know the answer, watch Karan Johar’s next Mendak ko bhi kuchh-kuchh hota hain!”
I was very much angry on Manish on that day, but I drunk all my anger and sit there with smile like nothing happen to me as I very well know I never win over Manish in verbal counter attack. It’s his day…every dog has a day…and I too belong to his category…it’s just the thing that I don’t bark like him but I can bite deeper than him…my day will also come someday…Manish, Beware from me on that day.
Manish was my best buddy since our kindergarten days and I must say he was one and only person other than my family members, very close and adorable to me, but today is the bad day for our friendship, at least from my side. I don’t want to hurt him but all my thoughts opposing him today.
Every day starts with fresh beginning. Manish has forgot all his non-sense next day and didn’t talk about it while we moved to school, but I still had shadow of past day memories in my head. Nirmala chatted like every day in morning at square, and Mitali still not noticed me at square while picked-up Nirmala. Every dog has its own day…but this morning doesn’t give me any sign which shows me that my day has come. Mercury of my anger level is dropped somewhat for Manish but still I could sense a kind of hotness in my thoughts and behavior for Manish.
Chemistry assignment submission date was just tomorrow so everyone in the class was looking concerned about it. Our chemistry teacher was famous in school for giving special creative punishment to students. She examined students well and gave punishments to students as per their habits. There was a boy who used to spoil canteen tables badly while eating, once he missed to submit chemistry assignment; teacher gave him punishment to clean cafeteria table for one week. There was a boy who has long hairs and nails, and he come with new hair style almost every day. Teacher gave him punishment to come with girlish make-up, ponytail in hairs, lipstick on lips and polish at nails; it was so embarrassing to him. Her punishments were always put people in shameful situation so everyone in school scared about her punishment. Manish and I both were looking safe this time as I have already completed chemistry assignments, and Manish has taken my assignment notebook to copy, but there were few folks in class who were still looking to manage assignment from someone.
It was recess time again and Manish was talking with few folks of other section. I took excuse from there and went to washroom. While I was coming back from washroom, I saw Nirmala and Mitali were coming there from front side at corridor. If I saw Nirmala alone somewhere, I tried to avoid her but today I found Mitali also with her so I shifted myself a bit and tried to walk in the same line where they are coming, so that we will collide after few minutes. That was really very good day to me as they recognized me even from some distance. Nirmala greeted me with hello, how are you statement. This was as usual thing for me to be greeted by Nirmala, but what new this time is Mitali also joined her with smile in greeting me. For some time, we did formal talk like hi, how are you, how is session going on but after few minutes they came to real point. “Hey Nityam, we are looking for Chemistry assignment, can you please help us in it?” Nirmala asked me.
Before I said anything, Mitali started saying, “Hey Nityam, we were really missed few lectures, I was very ill at that time and you know, how tough this chemistry subject is.”
Mitali’s voice looked very innocent and genuine but I can’t do anything for them as I already given my assignment notebook to Manish. “Yeah, I can understand” I said in sympathetic voice.
“We have asked so many folks in the class but no one is helping us, as we are new comer and don’t know more people here.” Mitali explained her helplessness in very poor voice.
“Can you please help us…can you please give your assignment notebook to us?” Nirmala put direct question to me this time.
“I…umm…ahh..let me think” I don’t know what to reply as I have already given my assignment notebook to Manish but I could not able to clearly denying them.
“Please help us…we are your colony friend.” This time Mitali requested me in very pity voice. But she not only requested with words but touched my right hand also with her both hand while requesting.
In the age of sixteen years, If a girl come and ask for help by holding your hand… how can one refuse …and that too if a girl is such a beautiful like Mitali…no one will able to say NO, irrespective of hard obligations.
“Okay…no problems…wait here for a minute…I will give you my notebook.” I never thought for a moment after that and accepted to help them.
I run into the classroom. I saw Manish was still busy in chatting with other section’s folks. I took benefit of time and pull out the notebook from Manish’s bag and gave it to Mitali and Nirmala. “Thank you very much…you are the only true friend of us” Mitali said while I handed over assignment notebook to them.
I was on cloud seven for a moment…the girl whom I wanted to make friendship badly…came to me …hold my hand and said “you are our true friend.” Yesterday Nirmala told me first friend in the city and today I became their colony friend…and then true friend…what a progress I made within a day. Thanks god…you finally gave this dog his day.
There is no doubt that my heart was very delighted on that day like never before but still there was an anatomy in my mind, what to say Manish now? When he will check his bag and find no assignment notebook there, he will ask me about it than what would I reply? How will I manage that situation? One thought came in my mind that I did well with him. He was always made fun at me…joined my name with that black fatty Nirmala…now life give me a chance to teach him a lesson. Tomorrow chemistry teacher’s punishment will put him in real embarrassing situation and people will make fun of him. Than only he know what is the pain of being ticked off.
This thought looked very logical to mind and my mind continuously insisting me to tell this thing clearly to him with very serious note, but heart was not accepting this fact. If mind put this thought just a day before, I may give a shot to it as I was really very annoyed with him last day. But today no more annoyed feeling remain in the heart, as touch of my dream girl washed off all negative emotion from heart. It was a serious problem to me but I don’t want to spend time into thinking about solution of this issue; I want to enjoy the happiness of being touched by my dream girl first time. Hence I never thought about Manish after that and left everything in the hand of destiny. I don’t know what happened to me at that time…I was cheating with my dear friend but still I don’t have any feel and rather I was happy like never before. Is this called love…?
Life gives chance to laugh only to them who really wish for it. I wish to enjoy the feel of love on that day and life gives me everything to live in that moment throughout the day. Manish didn’t look into the bag for assignment notebook entire day and I haven’t faced the situation that I really want to avoid. He was in assumption that he had my assignment notebook in the bag, but he will know reality at home. The day finished with a thanks giving note by Mitali and Nirmala and it was the greatest gift of the day to me.
God may give me mercy for one day but next day I have to face the fact, but who cares, as I was still thinking about Mitali, not Manish. I very well know that I am doing wrong with Manish but still there was no regret in heart. Anyways next day, I was standing at square waiting for Manish. But it’s wrong to say that I was waiting for Manish there as today I am not looking for him. I was very sure that Manish will come late as usual and I was looking for Mitali to come. Today she will surely recognize me …she will again thank me…may be she hold my hand again…we will chat for few minutes until Nirmala come from apartment.
Every day when I was waiting for Manish, he never comes at time. And today when I am waiting for Mitali, she was also getting late from her usual time…Why people whom I wait, usually come late. If my misfortune with late comers was just limited with their late coming habit than there was no issue to me but sometimes people whom I expect to come at time, will come late and people whom I expect to be late, will reach at exact time. Mr. Manish express was on time toady and miss Mitali express was delayed.
“Hey bro…I broke all my record and come at exact time first time in this session” Manish said in cheerful voice while stopping his moped at square.
“Congratulation…” I said disappointedly as I was looking for Mitali to come. Sometimes I really think whether Manish is a friend of me or enemy …I mean why he has selected this day only for making this life time achievement. When Mitali didn’t know me, he always come late and I saw her go without even look at me and today when I expect Mitali to come and talk with me, Manish came before time to let me miss this opportunity.
With heavy heart and lots of swear-words for Manish, I was about to sit at the back seat and suddenly I heard voice of someone…Hey Nityam…
My misfortunate continues…it was Nirmala…but why she stopped us…to give assignment notebook…oh! No…not in front of Manish…
“Hi…how are you guys?” Nirmala asked.
I don’t know about Manish but I am not feeling good as now my trick will be revealed.
“Hey Nityam…Thank you so much…you saved us today…” Nirmala said. I put a smile just to show gratitude but there was question mark at Manish’s face.
“This is your assignment notebook and once again thank you so much” Nirmala said while returning assignment notebook.
Thanks giving day is over and abusing day will be starting soon. Manish was looking shocked to me when he saw Nirmala had my chemistry assignment. However he didn’t say anything in front of her and we moved away from there.
“How assignment notebook reached to her? I have put it in my bag last day” Manish asked while riding.
“I have given her. They begged me for it so….” I said in trembling voice.
“Oh! Is it so…” Manish is trying to understand.
“You have given this assignment to her and I was thinking that it was misplaced by me when I haven’t found it in my bag…but when you had given notebook to them” Manish asked me.
“Yesterday when you were talking with other section’s guys in recess…at that time they came to me and asked for notebook” I said Manish in slow and murmuring voice.
so you opened my bag and gave chemistry assignment without asking me…so cheap…you cheated me…you cheated your best friend for girls…how can you do this with me” Manish’s tone get higher and I could clearly see angriness at his face but what can I do now.
“Umm…ah…hmm…umm…they were really in need” I was trying to make an excuse but didn’t find any.
“They were in need and what about I…I kept it in my bag just to increase the burden at my shoulder…you bastard…rascal” I could see Manish very angry first time in life.
We haven’t talk for few minutes but Manish started speaking again after few minutes.
“Oh…how can I forget it…I can understand now…you can do it…” Manish giggles after saying this.
“What you understand?” I asked him.
“You can do it as you love Nirmala…and she is your girlfriend…you choose love over friendship…yesterday she told you as her first friend in the city…so congratulation on your new friendship in the city…now go to hell now” Manish again boiled at me.
I didn’t say any word and accepted all his fire stones as I knew it was obvious reaction from him and I was ready to face it. We again maintained silence for few minutes but Manish has started again.
“Great man…go on in love like crazy…no problem from my side…I could sacrifice this assignment for that black duck…sorry…I should not call her like this…after all she would be my sister-in-law in near future…” Manish’s tone got down and he again came to his natural comic plus teasing mood after few moments of seriousness.
No one can understand Manish, what I was thinking that he will be very angry on me for this…and this might cost to our friendship too. But he forgot everything in just few minutes and came to comic mood. Well…I couldn’t know whether he really forget this cheat or not but it gave me a relief as I felt a burden in heart for this cheat while talking to him.
“Your names also looked very good together – Nirmala and Nityam; Now you can’t deny it…you like Nirmala…tell me…yes…otherwise you never cheat me for any ordinary reason” Manish tickled me with this comments and I smiled at him.
Nityam ko boyfriend wo banana chahe..
Aur Nityam bhi ab usi ko hi chahe…
Sabki pasand Nirma…
Apni Bhabhi Nirma…Nirma
Every day when Manish teased me with the name of Nirmala, I tried to pretend myself that I am not caring at his comments however these comments really irritated me. But today, I am not feeling bad on these comments, as it really works like cool water to the heart that was ignited due to guilt feeling. Are friends always behaves this way in our life. I mean have a look at Manish; his behavior nothing changed for me in both the situation, when I was good to him and when I cheated him. Before this incident, I never hurt him nor made him annoyed with any of my action, but he spent all his energy to make me hyper on the name of that black fat Nirmala; and today when I really hurt him, he was still singing the same song rather than taking any hard steps. I found him very adorable and caring for me in spite of the fact that he never behaved the way I thought; earlier, I was expecting that he will help me in making friendship with Mitali rather than teasing me by connecting my name with black and fat Nirmala; and today I was expecting that he will slapped me and may broke friendship with me, but he was still talking non-sense about the love of bhaiya-bhabhi. I don’t know which kind of soil, god used while creating friends; they easily forget the things that are very meaningful for rest of the world but always kicked your ass at the nonsense that really doesn’t mean anything to real world.
Manish really won my heart that day, and that day my heart was not abusing him after long time but there was a person who was still troubling in my eyes. I mean why Nirmala made so hurry in returning notebook. She could return the notebook to me in school too, and at that time Mitali would be there with her. But not, she called at the street like a call girl and spoiled everything. If you come for help with your friend then you should also come together for returning it; why to take all credit of acknowledgement and thanks-giving alone. What I was thinking that she would come with Mitali for returning notebook and it gave me a chance to speak with Mitali; also it would give a slap to Manish too who was linking me always with Nirmala all the time, but her impatient step destroyed all my dreams and gave one more bloody reason to Manish for kicking my ass on the name of her.
I was upset with Nirmala but she was very much obliged to me. She thanked me many time even after so many days of that incident. But before I tell anything about Nirmala’s loyalty, let’s see what happened with my buddy Manish who was paying the cost of my slippery step for need of girlish greenery in life. Our chemistry teacher was very well aware about Manish’s laziness and late coming habits. So she announced punishment for Manish to come an hour early of school time for next seven days and helped cleaning staff to clean the classrooms in morning. And she also banned his moped for next week so Manish has to come at cycle and that too an hour early. Manish was looked little bit scared before the punishment, but once teacher announced the punishment, he looked very much relaxed. However he was continuously blaming and abusing me for all this throughout the day.
“It’s all happened due to you…I wish I owe a dog instead of you…at least he never bite me like this…and that too for girl whom you know just few days ago” Manish blamed me at that day.
“Manish you know…there is a line in mythology – whatever happens, happens for good cause.” I taunted him first time in his own tone.
“What’s good in it…now I have to come early to clean classrooms …all because of you dog” Manish again slammed me.
“There is good cause in all these…it will give a chance you to learn importance of punctuality and cleanliness in life. Also you work with some lower category people…it will teach you about respecting people” I really mean of these lines as I was troubled many times due to his laziness, and also he make fun of me many times due to variety of reasons (…inclusing Nirmala) so I was happy that finally I got a chance to reply him for all these although not directly and intentionally.
Manish looked at me on this comment like owner of brand new Ferrari car looked at the street dog, who raised the leg and pissed at his car, but I was happy that first time I was pissing…sorry… I was making fun of Manish.
“Manish…are these cleaning staff people clean that pond beside school gate also” I asked Manish.
“No…I don’t know…but why” Manish replied.
“I was asking so that you will get chance to work in that pond…you will find many frogs and ducks there…it will give you chance to complete that love story of frog and duck that you were telling me few days ago… Mr. Karan johar ” this time I took the advantage of situation and hit-wicket Manish with his own bat.
“What was the name of that movie Mr. Karan Johar…Mendak ko bhi kuchh-Kuchh hota hain…now clean the pond, catch a frog there and feel… Mendak ko bhi kuchh-Kuchh hota hain…hahaha…hahaha” I again taunted and laughed out loud.
“you…how shameless are you…it’s all happening due to your lust virile character and rather than being saying sorry…you are making fun…you bastard dog…” Manish slammed me again but with smile.
Unlike to Manish, I used to think hundred times before saying anything that hurt him, but for my dear friend, I was continuously pouring the words that act as salt over his tinge spot. Well I really didn’t want to hurt Manish but I don’t have any control over me…all these taunts and comments automatically evolving from my mouth while looking him…or you can say all my nattiness or inner frustration was leaked out at this occasion. However, one thing over which I was sure that I don’t have any hard feeling or inner enigma remains for him and it feels very cool and relieving to me.